New Girl: Jess’ Exes, Ranked By Intelligence | ScreenRant
During the first season of New Girl, Jess admits that she always goes after guys who have no real direction in life. That doesn't entirely turn out to be true. In fact, unlike some of the other characters in the series, Jess doesn't really have a type. She looks for love in a variety of places, and all she really wants is someone to be completely herself with, someone she can grow with.
None of the men Jess dates before she finds her endgame relationship are unintelligent. They tend to be smart in different areas. One area they all seem to fail in is seeing the end of their relationship with Jess coming, so emotional intelligence is a good measurement to examine all of her exes.
11 Honorable Mention: Teddy
Teddy and Jess don't have a real relationship. He's a firefighter. She's a young woman stuck in playground equipment on a call he takes. Teddy and Jess spend one night together but remain friends afterward.
The audience only even knows about Teddy because Jess and her roommates all exchange their first-time stories in season two. Teddy doesn't really get to talk or do anything other than take Jess to sit in a fire truck, so it seems unfair to judge his intelligence when the audience doesn't know much about him.
10 Berkley
The audience would initially want to rank Berkley higher. After all, he has bright conversations with Jess via text and maintains a friendship with her for years after they break up. The trouble is, Berkley isn't genuine about his desire for friendship for her, and his entire attempt at witty banter is built on a lie.
Berkley doesn't see that Jess really just wants to maintain a friendship with him like she does with anyone she doesn't have a bad break-up with. He is willfully blind to her desire for friendship, making him lacking in the emotional intelligence department.
9 Prom Date
Jess's prom date is never named, and he's the only one of Jess' exes the audience knows from her teen years - if he can even be termed an ex. The two decide to attend their prom together because they're the only members of their school's Gender Equality Society, and they ask one another out.
Unfortunately, her prom date is really bad at understanding her. Jess repeatedly loses her patience with him as they try to get closer, and she eventually leaves the entire situation in tears. To be fair, he is a teenager, not an adult, and is following her lead based on what he knows of their experiences in the Gender Equality Society. It's hard for him to understand that Jess is acting differently. He doesn't have the life experience or the emotional maturity of the men Jess dates as an adult.
8 Ted
Not to be confused with Teddy, Ted also only appears in a single episode. He's the best man at a wedding Jess attends with her roommates, one Jess hopes to have the chance to hook up with. Though Jess doesn't get that chance, it's not for lack of trying, which is why he lands amongst her exes.
Ted, despite being one of the only eligible bachelors at the wedding, takes an awfully long time to figure out just why the two single female wedding guests are spending their entire time with him instead of the guests they know. When he does realize what's happening, he doesn't actually figure out what to do with that information either.
7 Spencer
Her relationship with Spencer is the longest Jess has until she meets Nick. That doesn't mean he's the most intelligent of her exes, though. It's clear from their confrontation in "Kryptonite" that Spencer knows how to manipulate Jess. He appeals to her good heart and shakes his hair around a little bit.
Spencer doesn't, however, have the emotional intelligence to understand why Jess confronts him to get her belongings back, or why she has such a strong reaction to the dead plants on the stoop or him wearing a shirt she made. Jess isn't wrong when she declares that she's glad Spencer cheated on her; it might, strangely, be one of the best things to ever happen to her.
6 Matt
Like many of Jess' less memorable relationships in New Girl, hers with Matt doesn't last long. In fact, she only dates him to prove to her roommates that she's not superficial when she learns he has a rare physical quality that the guys make fun of.
Matt, like Spencer, is very good at emotional manipulation. He's not as nice on the surface as Spencer is, but he still manages to keep Jess hanging around by repeatedly reminding him of just why women leave him. He knows exactly what he's doing, though he feigns confusion. Matt's emotional intelligence is just used for evil, a fact proven when Jess discovers he already has a girlfriend.
5 Ryan
When Jess meets Ryan, she's immediately drawn to him. She's already dated fellow teachers in the past, but this time, she's his supervisor. Ryan seems to be equally smitten with her.
He seems to be a very good partner for Jess, understanding why they need to keep their work and personal lives separate, and trying his best to make her needs as important as his own. The one blindspot he has in his emotional intelligence is in not seeing that the two aren't ready for a long-distance relationship. He returns to England, expecting things to work out, but never even makes it to Portland to visit Jess.
4 Paul
Paul is the one ex who seems pretty perfectly suited to Jess. He doesn't shy away from his emotions, willing to cry with Jess, sing with Jess, and be there for her in awkward situations.
Paul, however, jumps to emotional conclusions a little too quickly to rank higher. He jumps the gun in his relationship with Jess, buying her tickets to a music festival on the other side of the world when they've only been dating a few weeks. Though fans might have liked for him to stick around longer, he didn't understand that Jess wasn't ready to be serious just yet.
3 Russell
Russell is older than the rest of the men Jess dates during her time on the show. He has a certain level of maturity that means True American is not going to be on his schedule every week, his daughter is going to come first, and he's going to fix things that are actually broken.
Russell is also one of the few people Jess dates who comes right out and tells her that he's well aware they didn't work out because she and Nick had feelings for one another even then. He seems like his emotional intelligence should be through the roof. Russell also, however, propositions Jess on her wedding day, trying to interrupt her happy ending with the guy he claimed to know she'd end up dating. Clearly, he's still got some learning to do.
2 Sam
Sam is initially a friend with benefits situation for Jess. He's up front with her about not wanting an emotional relationship, just a physical one. That changes for both of them, however, and though they break up, they get back together twice.
Sam and Jess both experience a lot of growth in their relationship as they realize they aren't meant for one another. Like Russell, Sam names Nick as the person Jess wants to be with. Unlike Russell, Sam doesn't continue to resent that fact and has enough emotional intelligence to tell Jess that as a friend instead of as a means of appearing smarter than her.
1 Robby
There's no denying that Jess and Robby would never have ended up together. They are distant cousins, after all. There's also no denying, however, that Robby has the best emotional intelligence of any of the men Jess dates.
He understands when Jess is playing games, or having some sort of weird dating competition with him. He goes out of his way to make sure they're both comfortable in their relationship, even when they're just friends, Going back even farther, Robby also understands exactly how Schmidt feels after Robby becomes Cece's new boyfriend. He doesn't berate or compete with Schmidt but befriends him based on their common ground. Robby understands how to read people, and how to deal with emotionally stressful situations.
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