Ranking Every Major Nintendo Mascot Based On Intelligence
What has always set Nintendo consoles apart from the competition has been its arsenal of unique franchises populated by colorful, memorable characters who often exist as brand ambassadors, in addition to video game protagonists. No matter how popular franchises like Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto become, Mario will likely be the world's most iconic video game character.
Doubly so, he is an iconic video game mascot, too. Nintendo has its fair share of mascots that head their various, top-selling franchises. (Some of these mascots even spun off from other games.) But while they're all capable of slapping their names on the titles of games, they're not all at the same levels of intelligence.
10 Yoshi
No matter what skills Yoshi proves himself capable of honing and what tasks he proves himself capable of achieving during his own franchise, it's hard to forget the first impressions the dinosaur gives off in the Super Mario games.
When Mario is dislodged from Yoshi, for example, the cartoonish, green reptile begins to sprint back and forth in a panic before inevitably plummeting to his death. It's hard to imagine a Nintendo mascot who would do something as dumb as this.
9 Donkey Kong
Donkey Kong has never been the cause of his own death across the myriad of gaming iterations in which he appears. However, he does rank as a bruising enforcer across the Nintendo landscape who relies on his brawn over his brains.
That doesn't mean he's not somewhat intelligent. One has to be at least somewhat aware when trying to play a game of baseball. But considering that Donkey Kong hits home runs by punching baseballs with his fists, it's safe to say he's not much of a strategist.
8 Pikachu
Pokemon isn't just a top-ranked franchise in the Nintendo catalog; it's also a well-known brand in the world, at large. Of course, Pikachu is the one leading this Pokémon popularity charge, even to the tune of his own balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
While Pikachu is definitely a smart character and one of the most intelligent of the Pokémon, he's still only smart when compared to these other figures, rather than all on his own. After all, he tends to reflect the personality of the trainer, so this sponge-type persona is limiting in terms of a potential construction for Pikachu's own smarts.
7 Mario
As aforementioned, Mario isn't just a mascot for the Super Mario franchise or even just for Nintendo; he's a video game icon. Therefore, he has to be sort of like Mickey Mouse: accessible to all and off-putting to none.
Therefore, Mario can be smart, but not too smart. He never thinks to take preemptive measures against Bowser kidnapping his true love, Princess Peach (even going so far as to invite Bowser to play tennis with them), but he does manage to cleverly save her every time. Yet, he also winds up trapped in an oil painting at one point. Not a good look if he wants to be considered among Nintendo's most whip-smart figureheads.
6 Kirby
While Mario's intelligence has to come in a wholesome manner to appeal to as many quadrants of the cultural world as possible, Kirby's occupies the opposite territory.
Despite only being a child, Kirby has effortlessly accomplished many great feats that most could only dream of. Every time, Kirby comes across as a truly smart wit, even if he does not exhibit traditional intellect. Cute on the surface and sardonic within, Kirby is one of Nintendo's cleverer icons.
5 Link
In the Legend of Zelda series, Link is one of two major mascots. Different games have played with Link's intelligence in different ways. Most of the time he is capable of solving puzzles and outwitting enemies much stronger than him. Additionally, he able to master various weapons quickly and efficiently. While he is certainly smart, he will always be a courageous character first.
4 Luigi
Regarding Mario's proclivity for getting trapped in things like oil paintings, someone has to free him from that, no? That would be Luigi, Mario's brother, who heads his own series of games, including - most prominently - Luigi's Mansion.
To be fair, when Luigi starts out, he's essentially a taller, greener clone of Mario. But over time, Professor E. Gadd's immaculate intellect seems to rub off on him and Luigi becomes more considerate, more anticipatory, and altogether smarter than his brother.
3 Samus Aran
While the previous seven characters have all delivered intelligence levels to varying degrees, the top three on this mascot ranking is clearly the top tier of the Nintendo icons. Beginning with Samus Aran, these are so clearly the smartest Nintendo mascots of the bunch.
Samus Aran is the star of the Metroid series and is currently halfway through its fourth decade of existence. She's an Iron Man-colored bounty hunter who has an unimpeachable mission record and an unparalleled mastery of some of the game's most elusive weapons. There's unquestionably a unique strength to Samus' intelligence.
2 Tom Nook
While much of Samus's intelligence manifests in the form of force, Tom Nook's intellect (and force, as well, for that matter) manifests in a different capacity. As the mascot of Animal Crossing, Tom Nook is also able to maintain a stranglehold over any village crafted in the series.
He's capable of squeezing the life out of residents for every last bell they have, working them to the bone for wages they can't even keep. He is Nintendo's cruelest capitalist, but undeniably savvy, too.
1 Zelda
Returning to the Legend of Zelda series, it's Zelda who comes in at the top of the Nintendo mascot intelligence ranking. There may be smarter character in the Zelda franchise, but as far as mascots go, she's the best.
Not only does she rank highly when it comes to perception, intuition, and foresight (like when she develops a game plan for ousting dastardly villains like Ganondorf), but she's also capable of growing her intellect over the course of the game, as players hone their abilities, too. Mario may be Nintendo's most famous mascot, but it's Zelda who is clearly the smartest.
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